Monday, December 31, 2012
Fungus up the Obamabungus
Once again another Lame Cherry matter antimatter exclusive. It's a race my children I tell ya. No stopping now, we can't let them catch up. Alex Jones is now a humanitarian. He got it figured out. He's a humanitarian I tell ya, the salt of the earth, the mesquite in the brush patch, the taco in the bell, the horn in the longhorn.
You thought I didn't know what I was talking about again, but here you read it here first George HW Bush got that lung thing and old Nelson Mandela got that lung thing. It's salt and pepper I tell ya on the Chinese takeout.
See you got Michelle Obama goes on African safari and she gives that book to Nelson Mandela. It had that new book smell but somethin more, some might say she could kissed the old Commie but them toxic kisses with faux lips just ain't Muchelle's style cause she just don't like wrapping them lips around...
So you got this spore. No it's not anthrax, hell itaain't even a spore. Call it fungal tubes like mushroom lung. A big ole moist dark cave, wet, in that ole black lung, and them shiitakes just sprout. Hell did you know that one mushroom can cover hundreds of yards. One little mushroom covers all that lung tissue. Next thing you know you got that lung wheezing and that cough and it sounds like tb, looks like a cold, but it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood my children as Mr Rogers goes gopher and visits the former coal pit of Pennsylvania.
Call it geezercide. Can happen anyplac e. Doesn't affect the children or the baby boomers. They can design it anyway they want. DNA and all that. Hell the Peking girls can wipe out continents with the plague but it takes a real chopstick to make it geriatric specific.
See you don't want a mass panic. HW hackin up a lung, bleeding out the eyeballs, going all Ebola. No that'd cause a panic. Horse heads in the bed would do the same thing. No you want the fade away, give Gramps the cough so the old lady sticks him in the hospital, keeps it all quiet as those spores fill up all that alveoli depriving the geezer of oxygen. See you work that old heart long enough without the O2 and it just defibrillates itself to room temperature. Three months of that, everybody's glad you're dead. With old Nelson you get the side benefit. Michelle shows up lookin all sexy, paradin them girls around for a cow trade, a little book dust and just like a DOA revived after twenty minutes without the O2 old Nelson's brain goes room temp and he auditions for lion bait.
Call it living suffocation, Obama Alzheimer's. Same effect. Mandela looks pretty but Obama does all the talking. Same way with the Bush brush patch. Messages need to be sent. You can't keep firing rubber bullets off Gabby Gifford's head, people might get suspicious, and Jared Loughner gets a new career at the Vaseline B&B. So yeah, dust the old man with geriatric gender portabellas while being friendly as everyone wants to know what HW thinks about things and comes callin and next thing you know they're measuring him for the morgue detail.
Odd ain't it? Hillary and Analgate and she starts them faintin spells like she's preggo and she conceives a menopausal immaculate brain tumor like she's Bill Casey and Obama rides off into the west with his dirty lariat draggin in the dust.
I tell you they take great pride in this stuff at the mushroom factory with Dr Germ as a graduate. Nothing like a little hair or feces DNA spliced in to make it all microbial specific and they call it humanicide or Mandelacide with him just drooling in the corner as Obama takes the bows. Those employee Bushes just don't get the message. B. Hussein was gonna ship W off to a nice gay concentration camp and George hid under the bed. Then they attack Sarah Palin and all them other conservatives as Rove was tea bagging and here they come trying to install Jeb again. Obama ain't gonna go for that with his Berliner boys. So a little mushroom lung keeps the family occupied for a December calling card so Obama don't get called on. It all adds up to a happy new year as Mandela's mind visits his second childhood and he dreams of burning tires around opponent's necks.
So there you go my children. Of course this is all fiction. HW is jumping out of planes and Mandela is leading a communist revolution for a new Africa and Barack Obama loves America. Woolly stuff ain't it, all these sheep who are wolves being dined upon by one of the pack.
Think that's enough as the real stuff would probably scare you and there are enough people trying to be popular girls like me, and we all know there can only be one His Girl Friday.