Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Toaster Prize




My children it is always odd what people get fond of.

Like this toaster I got TL for a dollar from the junk store. TL was not the fondest of it, as if you set it beyond 1 1/2 on the Procter Silex setting, it turn toast black and to TL's non amusement set off the fire alarm for the smoke it caused.

I am affectionate of it though as TL had no toaster at the start, and only the oven. Now the oven made good toast, but it took to long and this is a pretty white toaster and it sort of  toasts half the bread while leaving the other sort of untoasted.

I suppose I could look online about if I could fix the thermostat on this thing, but I never think of it, as I just use this toaster to my contentment. If I want all toast, I just flip it upside down and give it a few more half minutes and I got toast.

Oh and it refuses to go down twice in a row as the thermostat keeps popping it up until it cools off.

So I can see why people would have gotten rid of it, but for some reason I am drawn to it, as it comforted me a long way from home. There is something about glowing coils and toast being made in it's own way, that is a nice thing that gives security to a soul. This toaster which I am surprised was not thrown out by TL sits on the counter and looks all pretty at me, and I think we have some kind of connection because it is so imperfect, in you really can only call it a toaster by looks, as what it produces is in such a finite realm of toast that it is either charcoal or bread or half toast and half bread.

I am thankful for the dollar toaster. Thankful in my absence that Mom blew up my other toaster which was really nice in I think I paid 2 dollars for that one. I know my rich brother in law spent a wad of cash for a deluxe toaster and I honestly can not say it is anything a popular girl would be attracted to. It just fails in an expensive way, the way the dollar toaster sort of succeeds at.

I suppose when we are given the money for our home, that the dollar toaster would appear there, not toasting all that well, but well enough for probably till Jesus comes back toasting in not ever being replaced.

Maybe now that the toaster is a celebrity, the way Lame Cherry is a famous celebrity now, I should do something like Elvis in "Lame Cherry once toasted here". What better thing could there be than for some multi millionaire to donate 350,001 dollars for the purchase of that toaster with no gaurantees, as the idea is to have Lame Cherry's toaster like Elvis' kerchief he sweated on.........and no I will not sweat to the toasties as I am not looking to get electrocuted.

Yes my prize toaster, my companion, I believe I would part with for 350,001 dollar donation as I am losing money on this, in the shipping would be like 8 bucks I suppose and I would only have 349, 994 dollars. For all those big numbers, that price sure looks small compared to the 350,000 dollars.

I never intended to make this an offer to sell my toaster, but then the Holy Ghost comes up with all of these entertaining and clever ways to appeal to the heartless rich for the big donation in so many ways.

I will miss my toaster munificiently if it is sold, but I do make sacrafices of great extent for all of you. My toaster which does not work is a great prize of mine.


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